The preservatives in chocolate will make you look younger. Yeah, don’t we wish! Did you know that some people have tried to show that chocolate is healthy? The rationalization: Chocolate is derived from cacao beans, and beans are vegetables. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets, which are plants, placing them in the vegetable category. Thus chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is a dairy product. All in all, chocolate candy bars are a real health food! O.k., maybe that’s not quite it, either.
But universally, women will tell you that they need chocolate. They connect with it. And, I think there are even studies out there that prove this. It makes them feel better and meets a need that only chocolate can fill. Of course, there are different kinds of chocolate – dark or milk chocolate. It comes in different forms – candy bars, cakes, pies, chocolate covered strawberries. Yummm. So, chocolate may not make you look younger or be classified as a health food, but it can make you feel better.
Just as women need chocolate, we need to take care of our heart needs…the “woman” that’s at the core of who we are. Let’s look at your own life. What are you doing day after day? Do you take care of your kids, your husband, your home? Do you work? It doesn’t matter if it’s outside the home or not. Are you running from one thing to another because of all your commitments? What about grocery shopping, dentist and doctor appointments, not to mention what you’re going to cook for supper? And if you are a single mom, just take all that stress and exhaustion up a few levels. You can even be at the place in your life where the kids are grown and gone, empty-nesters or close to retiring, but you still have a hard time keeping up with the pace of life. All this is stressful, exhausting, and drains the life out of you. It also makes you look and feel older than you really are. This is not good.
What is it going to take to get us to step back and take a good look at ourselves? For some people, it takes something drastic like…a literal heart attack. But, honestly, so many women are already in heart failure and don’t even know it. They already have a heart “condition”. They feel empty, pulled at both ends, and can barely keep their head above water. They have not been taking care of their own heart needs within. You can’t be the best at what you do if you are neglecting the very part of you that makes you…you. Your heart condition, due to years of neglect, can cause physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual heart failure.
So, I’m speaking to the woman in you…the woman that needs to be valued and nurtured. Stop being so busy. Sometimes you just have to make yourself stop. Just start somewhere-no excuses. Take time to care for your heart needs through connections with girlfriends and getting away to give yourself a new perspective. Take care of your heart physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You need a support system so you don’t have to shoulder everything yourself.
The preservatives in chocolate may not make you look or even feel younger, but taking care of your true heart needs will. And, throwing in a little chocolate here and there can’t hurt either!
Girlfriends and chocolate make life sweeter!
When’s the last time you’ve laughed. I mean, really laughed…so hard that your face hurt? When’s the last time you spent time just with your girlfriends, talking all you want, doing whatever you want, just having fun? When’s the last time you took a break from work, kids, spouse, the telephone, the computer, TV…your crazy, much-too-serious life?
Sometimes you just gotta say “no” to all the craziness in your life and reconnect with your friends. Here’s a reality check. We’re not getting any younger, yesterday’s gone, we’re not promised tomorrow, life will always try to keep you busy, there’s no cure for wrinkles, and friendship connections and getaways don’t just “happen” by themselves. But, we can always hope, right?
Hmmm…hope is a funny word. It’s amazing how hope becomes our reality when we put action behind it.
When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.-Pauline R. Kezer
There are things in your life you can control, and things you can’t. You can’t stop time, but you can choose what you do with your time. So far, there’s no fountain of youth or a cure for wrinkles. If we’re going to have to deal with lines on our face, they might as well be laugh lines. This is why we need our girlfriends and time away just to play. You can live healthier and happier by doing things that make your life better. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed and powerless. But the key word here is “DO”. Waiting for the day that things magically happen on their own is only called wishful thinking.
So, back to my first questions…when’s the last time you laughed so hard that your face hurt? When’s the last time you spent time just with your girlfriends, talking all you want, doing whatever you want, just having fun? If it’s been a while, there is hope. You do have hope no matter how busy your life has gotten, but you have to make it happen. Wishful thinking won’t create those much needed friendship connections and girlfriend getaways, just like it won’t get rid of those annoying wrinkles.
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. – Barbara Kingsolver
I’m going to Disney World. No, I’m not! I’ve been there a million times. Now, don’t get me wrong. Disney is a great vacation destination, but when my kids say “Oh no, not again!” you know we’ve been there…a lot! Besides, we’ve done tons of vacations with the kids, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. But, ladies, there are just those times when you need to get away with the girls.
Blackberry Farms in the Great Smoky Mountains is an award winning hotel that sits on 4,200 acres. It is the perfect spot for a girlfriend getaway. As they say at Blackberry Farms, you “escape modern-day frenzy and slip into a Blackberry state of mind”. They have everything you could imagine. You can relax at the spa, there’s a cooking school, hiking, biking, horseback riding, fly flishing (yep!), and so much more. They are even hosting a special girlfriend getaway in the month of May.
Not only do they have everything from adventures to leisure and relaxation activities, but their food and wine experience is amazing. They use their own seasonal farm-grown produce and have won awards for their culinary excellence. To top it off, there is an 8,000 square foot wine cellar with an extensive wine selection to choose from. Girls, they have it all!
The views are gorgeous, the food and wine are to die for, and you can choose between adventures, pure relaxation, or both. What more could you ask for? This really is a perfect girlfriend getaway spot. So…go check them out at http://www.blackberryfarm.com/index.php, and make it happen!
We need this!
Who are you? What makes you…you? Most women would answer those questions something like this…I am a mom, wife, sister, daughter, employee or business owner, the cook, the maid, an errand girl, a taxi driver, a caregiver, a nurse, a teacher…and the list goes on and on. Those are the roles you are walking in. Those are all the different hats you wear day in and day out. But that’s not who you are at the core. First and foremost, you are a woman. If you take away all your roles and hats, what’s left is…you…a valuable, indispensible woman.
I want to speak to the woman that’s inside of you. Do you even know her? So many times we push her down, neglect her, and feel guilty if we make time for her. We ignore the very core of who we are and what we were created to be. The “woman” in us needs to be validated. That is so key. Otherwise, guilt can be one of the biggest guiding forces in keeping us stuck in our burn-the-candle-at-both-ends world. We need to know that it’s o.k. to take time for ourselves and friends. In other words, you can give yourself permission to take the time you need to recharge the woman that’s inside you. We can stop trying to live up to the unrealistic expectations of others and if we’re honest, our own unrealistic expectations. You are worth it to have time with your friends to get away from it all, have fun, laugh, or even cry. That’s all part of building our friendships and support systems.
“We should do this more often” is a phrase that we’ve all probably said at one time or another when we’ve gotten away with our friends because for that moment in time, we have tasted a little relaxation, a little stress-relief, a little fun. But more often than not, we don’t actually follow through because we get too busy. Of course, we all have our roles and responsibilities that we have to keep up with, but it’s also our responsibility to take care of the woman that’s at the core of who we are.
So…I’m speaking to the woman that’s in every one of you…not the mom, not the wife, not the cook or the maid. Are you making time to get away from it all and grow your friendships? Are you making time for you…as a woman? Don’t neglect or push down this part of you anymore!
This afternoon I was at a get-together with about twenty ladies. I found out that one of them just got back last night from a week-long cruise with some of her girlfriends. She looked so relaxed! The other women were talking about how much fun it is to get away from it all every now and then. As busy as each lady was with her own life, it was obvious that they knew in their hearts that breaking away from the chains of their everyday life was important. I’ll bet every one of them wished that they were on that cruise, too.
It’s just as crazy not to get away and take time to recharge as it is to not sleep for three days straight! Never having a day off, never having time away from your kids or your family is not healthy. It’s not healthy for you or them. You’ve heard of the phrase, the husband is the head of the home, but the wife is the neck that turns the head. Well, another way of saying that is…you are the sail that determines the direction your family goes in. And that goes for married or single women. If you don’t make time for connecting with your girlfriends and getting away from it all every now and then to recharge, refresh, and rejuvinate yourself, you’re living your life at half-mast. How can you guide them? How can you be your best as a mom, wife, employeee, and whatever else you do? You think that taking time for yourself with your girlfriends is a luxury. Well, it’s not! It’s a NEED!
You won’t regret making real friends. I’m not talking about acquaintances. That’s not a soul-connecting friendship. Real friendships give us a much needed support system. You also won’t regret getting away with your friends. Your kids and family will be o.k. without you for a little while. In fact, it’s amazing how much more they appreciate you when you are away. Here’s another benefit of friendships and getaways…it helps change your mindset. You can handle life better.
Ladies, we tend to think that it’s not o.k. for us to take time to grow our friendships and get away with the girls even if it’s just for an afternoon. Somehow, we think we’re being selfish or we’re shortchanging our family. In reality, it’s the exact opposite. When you take care of yourself and have a support system, everyone benefits. I actually know of a husband who encourages his wife to get away with her friends. He says that she comes back a better wife and mom. They are both happier.
Are you stressed, burned out, stretched to your limit? As Dr. Phil says, “How’s that working for you?” It doesn’t work for anyone. Think about it. You wouldn’t stay up for three days straight with no sleep. That’s crazy, right? Your body and mind couldn’t function. But…you keep going day after day in your crazy rat race. It’s too much. Our bodies and minds can’t handle that either. Something’s got to give. It’s time to get to the heart of what’s really going on in your life and change your thinking about taking time for yourself. It’s not a luxury…it’s a need!
Get past the fence where the real getaway happens!
Yesterday, I was talking on the phone with a friend of mine. Most of our conversation was the usual stuff. But at one point, she mentioned that she saw a picture of pink flip flops hanging on a fence, and beyond the fence was the beach and the ocean. Then she said something that really hit home and made both of us stop and think. She said, ”Looking at the picture makes you want to get beyond that fence and out to the beach and water because that’s where the real getaway happens.” It’s so true!
She was looking past the fence and saw where she wanted to be. As soon as she said it, I realized that the fence in the picture represents one of the many fences that we put up in our lives. We have so many fences just in our mind. They keep us barricaded in our roped-off, boxed-in little world. We don’t see any way out, so we think that we’re stuck right where we are.
Many times our fences are actually excuses. Do you know what excuses are? Excuses are lies masquerading as truth. We try to convince ourselves and others that we “can’t” do something because we are too busy, too tired, don’t have the resources, or we simply just aren’t motivated. Excuses are based on self-defeating, negative thought patterns. They are like a fence, and a lot of our fences are unhealthy. Many times we already know deep down that our excuses really aren’t the truth, but they’ve become such a habit. We box ourselves in so much that we can’t relax or take the time to make those important friend connections. Our fences isolate us and make us feel like we’re alone.
Picture yourself beyond a fence on the beach, soaking up the warm sun, watching the sailboat in the water. Imagine yourself relaxing, clearing your mind, and having fun with your girlfriends. If you do this long enough, you can actually begin to feel your body and mind relaxing. Do you always want to stand at a fencepost, looking over at what’s just beyond it? Or, will you tear down those fences so you can get out of your cramped, barricaded world?
Taking time to build your friendship connections and doing fun things with your girlfriends is healthy. It’s healthy for your marriage, your family, and most of all for you! Instead of building fences around your life and using them as excuses, either tear them down or be determined that nothing is going to stop you from getting beyond them!
O.k...so he's a little snowman, but we did it!
Right now, I’m sitting in my breakfast room (in my pajamas), looking out the window, watching it snow. Snow doesn’t happen around here very often, so when it does, everything shuts down – schools, businesses, and roads. I just can’t get over how quiet life gets when it snows. It seems so…still.
It’s nice to have this little break in the middle of a busy week. It’s new. It’s different. It forces me to get out of my busy rut. It makes the day fun…building snowmen, snowball fights, building fires in the fireplace. Well, the snowmen and snowball fights are wishful thinking because there’s not enough snow on the ground yet. Sigh. But, even our cat, Velcro, is mesmerized by this white stuff falling from the sky.
I realize that for some of you, snow is a common occurence. It’s not a break where life gets still and quiet. It’s messy, creates even more work, and your hectic life goes on as usual. That’s where most of us find ourselves with our everyday life. It can get messy, we have more work than we can handle, and it’s just plain hectic. It’s not too often that nature provides for time off, so you have to get creative and make it happen.
Your girlfriends need that time off just as much as you do. So, why not get together and get away from it all! Usually, all it takes is one person to start talking about getting away, and it’s amazing how everyone else will jump on board. Take this little test. Let yourself spend 10 minutes thinking about a girlfriend getaway that you would love to go on. Go ahead…you can even close your eyes while you’re dreaming. Now, wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful to make that dream a reality…sleeping in, relaxing, having fun and laughing with your friends? Yes, it would! If you can’t afford your dream, that’s o.k. Just do something! You gotta start somewhere. Take your wishful thinking, and make it happen!
Well, it’s still snowing, and everything is beginning to look white. I am still so amazed by the quiet beauty of it all. Maybe that snowman isn’t wishful thinking after all. Maybe it’s because we’re determined to make it happen with whatever we have. Funny thing is, yesterday I bought carrots at the grocery store for the first time in a long time. I thought it was just because they sounded good in a salad. But, now I know there’s a snowman in our future!
Ladies, it’s time to act on those resolutions you just made! Have you noticed that so many of them are the same year to year like eating healthier and exercising more? Have you also noticed that a month down the road those resolutions are harder and harder to keep? And by the time February or March rolls around, they’ve become nothing more than wishful thinking, put on the shelf, not to be dusted off until next year. Why? Because life gets in the way…again. We’re stressed, running in too many directions, and our health is being drowned out by all the “noise” in life.
Fitness and nutrition are definitely an important part of being healthy. But, that’s just one piece of the puzzle. Women also need healthy friendships. We need to have those connections and support systems in place. It’s too easy to become isolated in this day and age. We forget how to laugh, how to have fun. We settle for just going through the motions of everyday life. We’ve fallen into a rut and don’t think that we can change our situation. But, we can…you can! It starts by letting go of things that eat up so much of our time and/or delegating them to someone else. What are some things that you can stop doing or delegate?
One of the healthiest things we can do is to take a break every once in a while…just get away from it all with our girlfriends to laugh, relax, have fun, and strengthen our friendships. Your getaways can be as simple or as extravagant as you want. They can be for a few hours, a few days, or even longer. They can be as often as you need them. And they have wonderful benefits that last long after the actual getaway. It’s always easier to keep up those other New Year’s resolutions like diet and exercise when you have a support system in place to encourage you.
Being healthy is so much more than joining a gym or cutting down on fat grams and carbs. You can do those things and still be unhealthy otherwise. Don’t limit yourself with the same stressful, isolated lifestyle. I challenge you to think outside the box this year. Go on a girlfriend getaway. Reconnect with your friends. Let go of the noise in your life so you can be a healthier you!
“Health is a large word. It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well…” – James West
A New Beginning
Can you believe that it’s already 2010? I can’t. Time seems to fly by faster and faster each year. What did you accomplish this past year? Did you get away with your friends even once to recharge, refresh, and renew yourself so you could be a better mom, wife, daughter, friend? Can you look back and truthfully say that you did the things that were the most important in your life? Or, were you a pawn in life…again? You know, feeling powerless to control your time or do the things that are really important.
More and more women are experiencing burnout. Stress-related illnesses are at an all-time high. It doesn’t matter if you work outside the home, are a stay-at-home mom, an empty-nester, or are retired. We are too busy, too overloaded, and allow too many things to be part of our daily lives. How many times have you said, “I just can’t find the time to…”. Well, that is part of the problem…finding the time. We don’t “find” the time. It just doesn’t happen. We MAKE the time. There is a big difference.
There are 86,400 seconds that we all have in a single day. How are you spending your seconds? There are 3,900 Saturdays in an average life span of 75 years. If you take your current age and multiply it by 52 (number of weeks in a year), that is how many Saturdays you have already used up. Now, take that number and subtract it from 3,900. That’s how many you have left if you live to 75 years old. We don’t get time back. Each second that ticks away is gone forever. If you are trying to “find” time, then you are wasting your time. That is what we do when we are a pawn in life, being pushed around from one thing to the next…feeling powerless.
Ladies, you can make 2010 different. This can not only be a new year, but a new beginning for you. Stop trying to “find” time! Start MAKING time to do those things that are most important. Stop being a pawn, and purposely start MAKING time to do things like getting away with your girlfriends. Get creative. Make it happen no matter what your budget is. Making time to get away with your friends helps you to be a better “you” in all the roles you have to walk in.
Let me put this another way…we so easily give ourselves permission to be overwhelmed, stressed out, and burned out. It’s almost like a badge of honor in our society to show just how busy we are. We try to fool ourselves into thinking that one day things will magically get better, but by doing so, find that life is passing us by. It’s time to start giving ourselves permission to be healthy…not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Girlfriend getaways are one of the best ways to do this. You can do it…no excuses! Excuses rob us of our health, happiness, and even our relationships.
What’s this year going to be like? Is it going to be like all the rest, or is this going to be your new beginning? It is a choice. By the way, as I am writing this, it’s Saturday, January 2, 2010…the first Saturday of a new year. It’s YOUR first Saturday of a new year. So, go schedule a getaway, make an appointment to spend time with your girlfriends…call it whatever you want. Just MAKE the time, and do it! Have fun!
The last two months have been non-stop busy…not just for me, but for one of my girlfriends as well. So, we were both ready for a getaway between Christmas and New Years. I have heard from so many people that the Opryland Hotel is a winter wonderland during the Christmas holidays, but I had never seen it until this week. It was like stepping into another world filled with twinkling lights, a huge Christmas tree, beautiful decorations, and poinsettias everywhere you look. Just the amount of plants, trees, and flowers in the huge atrium of the hotel was amazing.
Attached to the Opryland Hotel is a mall called Opry Mills. There are tons of stores and restaurants including the Rainforest Cafe. Eating there is an experience within itself. We spent a lot of our time shopping and laughing. We even ended up in the Bass Pro Shop. I played a video game where you earn points by shooting bear, deer, and moose. It was actually fun!
The best part, though, was walking around the hotel. I think we could have spent a whole week just at the hotel. They have beautiful water fountain shows, waterfalls, a lazy river with boat rides, great restaurants and specialty shops, and walkways that seem endless. It’s a wonderful place to go and relax. Of course, there are shows and attractions you can see including the Radio City Rockettes, but we decided just to explore everything in the atrium.
We both really needed this getaway. Our lives have been so busy for the last couple of months that we didn’t want to be on the go much while we were there. It was nice to have some time where the busyness stopped, and we could enjoy doing whatever we wanted to do, whenever we wanted to do it.
The holidays can be a stressful and exhausting time in many ways. One of the best times to schedule a girlfriend getaway is the week between Christmas and New Years, and a wonderful place to go is the Opryland Hotel. It really is a winter wonderland that you and your friends can escape to for a little rest and relaxation!
