Dear Santa,

I can’t believe it’s December already.  This year has flown by!  Life has been crazy busy, and I just haven’t gotten around to doing those things I really wanted to do this year.  Christmas is almost here, so I’m sending you my letter with the list of things I would like.

I know that Christmas lists usually have things on it like TVs, clothes, jewelry…you know…stuff.  But, Santa, this year I want something different.  It’s not only for me, but for my friends, too.  It’s  T.R.A.V.E.L.!  I want to deepen my friendships, both old and new, and go on fun, relaxing, soul-refreshing girlfriend getaways.  I’m sure they would love this gift, too!

T. – Trust…This is what holds friendships together.

R. – Refresh…And the list goes on…recharge, renew, relax, revive, rest, reconnect-especially on girlfriend getaways

A. – Acceptance…You can be yourself.

V. – Value of friendships…Knowing that you matter to someone.  We’re there for each other as a support system.

E. – Emotions…laughter, tears, being real, being open, communicating freely

L. – Lifelong girlfriend connections…bonds that last a lifetime.

About my friends (you know each and every one of them)…most of them have been busy, distracted, and many times stressed-out with everything they have going on in their lives.  They are all at different stages in their life – some have kids, some are empty-nesters, some are single, others are married, they all have jobs whether it’s outside the home or not.  They all have…stuff.  This year, it would be great if they could t.r.a.v.e.l.

So…a spa getaway would be nice, or the beach, or the mountains, or a big city with shopping and restaurants, or…well, I could go on and on.  There are a million ways to do a getaway.  The point is, Santa, we need to see the value of our friendships and make time to deepen our connections.  We need to laugh with our girlfriends until our sides hurt, and we need to be there for each other.  We need to stop the craziness of our world every once in a while and take time to have fun, whether it’s just relaxing doing nothing or going on a great adventure.  You see, these are things that last a lifetime…lifetime friendships and lifetime memories.

Santa, the last thing I want to say is that I’m sure we’ve all been very good this year.  Enough said.

Oh…wait…I just remembered one more thing!  Could you throw in some overnight bags from Saddleback Leather for the girls?  I hear those are supposed to last a lifetime, too!

Thanks, Santa!

You're off duty!

Taxi gone wild…that just about describes what it’s like some days at my house.  It never fails that everyone needs to be different places all at the same time.  And, of course, each place is on opposite ends of town.  There are days that I refuse to get in the car.  Unless someone’s dying, that car is not going to move out of the garage.  I can’t believe how many miles I’ve put on it.  It’s something like 240,000 miles, but it’s still going strong.   Dave Ramsey would be proud.

Do you ever feel like you spend at least half your life driving?   I know I do.  My monthly gas bill proves it, too.  I budget a certain amount each month for gas, and that’s another reason why there are days that my taxi service is off-duty.  Again, Dave Ramsey would be proud.

If you don’t stop your taxi service from going wild, you could easily run the roads all day long.  There’s more to life that that!  When’s the last time you called up one of your good friends and met her for coffee?  When’s the last time you chose to spend time with some of your girlfriends just doing nothing?  When’s the last time you had a girl’s night out?  Every now and then, a friend and I go on a chocolate run.  Yum!  We get everything from chocolate covered strawberries, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate cake, and whatever else looks good at the moment.  Even better, is a Krispy Kreme doughnut run.  I can smell it in the air when the “hot” sign is on even if I’m miles away.  Usually we try to eat healthy, and we watch our weight, but there are those times that you’ve just gotta have chocolate or Krispy Kreme doughtnuts.  That’s life!

So, ladies, put your taxi in park and turn on the off-duty sign!  Grab some girlfriends and check out Krispy Kreme or go on that chocolate run.  You never know.  That “hot” sign may be on right this very minute!

just breathe...

Every now and then, I’m just ready to feel a little sand between my toes with the girls…that white, sugary, warm, squishy, wonderful sand.  Ahhh.  I feel a beach getaway coming on!

One of the favorite spots for some of my girlfriend getaways is the Fort Walton Beach/Destin, FL area.  I have spent many, many hours on the beach just soaking up some sun and girl time.  It was exciting to see the Blue Angels practice their maneuvers close to shore.  Their base was nearby, so we got a free show.  As they flew by, there was silence.  A few seconds later, you  could hear the loud boom.  What a show!

One of my favorite times on the beach is right before sunset when there’s still about an hour of light left.    There’s something magical about that time of the day.  The waves have a silvery light to them.  The sky is just beginning to turn different hues of red, purple, and yellow mixed with blue.  The clouds take on a life all of their own.  Most of the beach-goers are gone for the day by that time, so we were left with the peaceful sounds of the waves and seagulls.  We usually made dinner on the grill and then ate it right on the beach, close to the water.  I’ll never forget one evening as we were sitting on a big blanket, we saw some dolphins swimming close enough to the shore that we could easily see them.  They stayed in the same place for a long time and looked like they were playing in the surf.  We had the best seat in the house!

Sometimes, when I think about places like the beach, I can actually “feel” it even though I’m not there.  I can remember the feel of the warm sand between my toes, the smell of salt air, the sounds of the waves, and picture the bonds between my friends and me growing stronger.  I close my eyes, and it’s like I’m there.  Those daydreams are like my little mini escapes until the real getaway arrives.  That’s another wonderful benefit of girlfriend getaways.  Each time we get away, we make lifetime memories with our friends.  Then, after we’re back home, we can just close our eyes at any time, and we’re there all over again.

There are those times where I feel like life has gotten so crazy, I’m always talking to a wall, everybody’s gotten on my last nerve, and if something doesn’t give, I’m going to take out all my frustrations on the dog.  Poor Cowboy.  It’s, then, that I announce that I would be perfectly happy with just a cat and a condo.  A cat and a condo equals peace and quiet.  Besides, my cat, Velcro, likes to stick with me.

I can imagine it being a place where I could prop my feet up and relax with no one demanding anything…or wanting me to be their taxi service.  Life would slow down for a while, and I could catch my breath.  Sounds wonderful!  But for most of us, being able to escape to our own condo anytime we want is not a reality.  So…what’s a girl to do?

To begin with, this is why our friendships are so important.  As girlfriends, we support each other when life gets overwhelming.  We “feel each others pain”.  It makes a difference knowing that someone cares and understands our struggles.  We stick with each other through thick and thin, just like Velcro.

We can also escape with our girlfriends, even if it’s just for an hour for lunch.  Our getaways don’t have to be for days at a time.  They can be as simple as we want them to be.  Every now and then, one of my girlfriends and I just need to get out of town for the afternoon.  We drive 45 minutes to a nearby state park and do nothing.  We take a few snacks, a good book, and sit by the water until the sun starts to set.  We have every intention of reading, but we usually end up talking and listening to each other.  There’s something about getting in the outdoors that’s relaxing and helps to clear your mind.  It was on one of these escapes to the state park, that we realized the women we know love to get away with their girlfriends.  Even more importantly, they are investing themselves and their time into their friendships.  They have a support system in place so they aren’t lonely or isolated.  It makes all the difference in the world.

Just remember that we all get overwhelmed, frustrated, and would love to escape from the stresses of our everyday world.  It seems like a cat and a condo would be nice, but after a while it would get lonely.  We need our friendships and our girl’s getaways.  This is where we recharge, refresh, and recuperate.  Besides, have you ever noticed that it’s always a one-way conversation with a cat?  It’s just like talking to a wall.  Wait a minute!  I can get that at home!

There’s nothing like snow skiing in the Rockies.  My friend and I had so much fun on our first ski trip to Colorado, that we decided to go back a few years later and ski Breckenridge.  It was the middle of April when our flight arrived at Denver International around 11:00 pm that first evening.  By the time we got our luggage and stood in line for the rental car, it was well after midnight before we hit the road for Breckenridge.  We quickly realized that this getaway was going to be just as memorable as the first.  All we cared about, though, was…the girls were back in town.  And this trip was going to be a blast.

It all started when we walked out of the airport to get in the rental car.  It was then that we realized that it felt like 15 below outside.  When we left our hometown down along the Gulf Coast, the temperature was in the high 80’s.  We had already been going to the beach for two full months.  It usually feels like summer in the middle of April where we’re from.  So, it never occurred to us that there could be blizzard conditions in Denver.  What were we thinking?  Both of us were dressed in tank tops…with no coats.  And our big winter jackets were somewhere in all our luggage packed tightly in the trunk of the rental car.

Before we left the terminal, I decided to get a cup of coffee.  It was hot.  I was freezing.  It tasted so good.  We got in the car, excited to turn the heat all the way up.  As we opened the door and sat in the seat, we realized that this car had automatic seat belts.  The seat belt just kept coming, and I didn’t know whether to hold the cup of coffee up high, down low, or over to the side.  Everything happened so fast.  Before I knew it, that seat belt had knocked the coffee out of my hand and all over me.  But, between the coffee warming me up (not the way I intended), and my friend laughing so hard that she couldn’t talk, our little ski escape was off to a good start.

I drove first.  There really were blizzard conditions as we drove on the interstate towards Breckenridge.  I followed the tire tracks in the snow of the truck in front of me to know where to go.  We couldn’t tell where the road was.  Everything was covered in snow, not to mention the fact that you could only see two feet in front of you.  It’s a good thing that truck didn’t drive off the road, because we would have been right behind him.

After what seemed like hours, we ended up at a gas station in a little town called Dillon, Colorado.  You wouldn’t believe the looks we got from the people in the store when we got out of the car and walked in wearing our tank tops.  After a few moments of stunned silence, one guy asked, “Do you know there’s a blizzard out there?”  Well, that’s all it took for my friend and me to start laughing hysterically.  Besides, everything is funnier in the middle of the night.

We finally made it to Breckenridge, and drove into the parking garage of the Hilton Hotel around 3:00 in the morning.  Just as we were about to get out of the car, we noticed a guy walking toward us.  It made both of us nervous, but it was cold, and we were ready for some sleep.  As we were getting our luggage out of the trunk, he walked up to us and started talking.  There was something about him that seemed familiar.  He was older than us and had a casual, almost beach bum look to him.  But we were across the country and didn’t personally know anyone in Breckenridge.  He asked us where we were from, and when we said Mobile, he said that he was from there, too.  I didn’t believe him at first, so I started asking him questions that only a local from Mobile would know the answer to.  And, to our disbelief, he knew the answers.  He told us where he went to school.  It was a private Catholic school.  As he talked to us, I think he knew that we were trying to figure out who he was.  He had a little smile on his face, but would never let on about his identity.  He didn’t ask us our names, and we didn’t ask him his.  We were freezing by this time, and just wanted to get in where it was warm.  He said “bye” with a smile, and walked off.

My friend and I kept saying to each other that he looked so familiar.  It was like we knew him somehow.  We continued to talk about who that guy might be, when, all of the sudden, it hit us.  That was Jimmy Buffett.  It had to be him.  It looked like him, sounded like him, he was from Mobile, went to that Catholic school, and he said that he still had family down there.  Everything fit.

To this day, you can’t convince me that it wasn’t him.  I grew up hearing Jimmy Buffett.  He and his island sounds are part of what makes home…well…home.  What a way to start another fantastic girlfriend getaway!  And just like the first time, we laughed and laughed.  Many times, it was those deep belly laughs that does your soul good.  By the way, we made sure this time that the first thing we did was to take those ski lessons!

Calling All Girlfriends

Calling all girlfriends to stop procrastinating, stop letting life get in the way, and just go ahead and go on that getaway.  You know you’ve been wanting to!  Getaways can be in the same town you live in, somewhere in the U.S., or an adventure out of the country.

My ultimate getaway…so far…was to South Africa to spend 6 weeks with one of my best friends.  She and her family were originally from South Africa, but came to the states for a few years.  That’s when we became friends.  They had to go back home, but we never lost touch.  A few years later and thousands of miles away, I found myself sitting in Heidi’s apartment in Durban, South Africa looking out over the Indian Ocean.  Her apartment was right on the beach where you could watch people surfing and weddings taking place at the same time during the weekends in the wedding park on the beach.  It was absolutely beautiful.  When I landed at the airport and got off the plane, it was like our friendship picked up right where we left off.  You know, it’s like the conversation never ended, and we just picked it right back up.

Those six weeks were packed with safaris, going sailing, climbing down a gorge and back up without repelling gear, and going on a breakfast run.  I had no idea what a breakfast run was…never heard of it.  Heidi explained that a big group of people got together every Sunday morning and rode to the top of a mountain on motorcycles.  Once at the top, there was a hot, full course breakfast waiting for everyone.  It sounded fun, and early that Sunday morning we were both riding on the back of two of her friend’s motorcycles.  The mountain views were breathtaking.  You could see for miles from the top of the mountain, and there was a gorgeous waterfall on the way up.

Sure enough, there was a full breakfast waiting on us when we arrived at the top.  They had everything from bacon and eggs to hot biscuits and gravy.  Everyone ate on huge picnic tables out in the open.  A few hours later, after a leisurely breakfast and getting to know some of the other people, it was time to go back down the mountain.

This was the part that explained why they called it a breakfast “run”.  It was a motorcycle race to see who could get back down the mountain the fastest.  I’ve never had so much fun in my life, yet been so scared at the same time.  We got up to speeds of 125 mph at times.  I couldn’t believe that we all made it to the bottom in one piece, and to this day I don’t know who won, but it was one of those experiences I will never forget.  Even so, my kids better never, EVER think of doing something like that!

My 6 week getaway to South Africa with my girlfriend really was one of those ultimate getaways.  I wrote a journal every day so I could always remember the fun times and the friendship we had together.  Some of you will also have the chance to go on an ultimate girlfriend getaway.  Make sure you don’t lose that opportunity.  I promise…it will be one of those times you’ll look back on and know that it was the chance of a lifetime.

Wish You Were Here

There is a poem called The Life of a Day by Tom Hennen.  It goes a little something like this,

“We examine each day before us with barely a glance and say, ‘no, this isn’t one I’ve been looking for,’ and wait in a bored sort of way for the next, when we are convinced, our lives will start for real.”

Go back and read that line again.  Do you really understand what it’s saying?  Most of us live what that line is saying.  We think, “When life slows down, then I can start living.  When the kids are grown and out of the house, then I can make friends and have a life.  When I can get my house clean and in order, then I can start having friends over.”  If we keep glancing over each day that’s given to us, waiting for the stars to line up just right and everything to be perfect, then we miss out.  We miss out on the wonderful friendships we could have had, we miss out on getting away from it all and recharging our souls, we miss out on all the little things that, when added together, actually make up our life.

Wish You Were Here…a line that is frequently written on postcards when someone you know has gone on vacation.  Well, we can say that same thing when it comes to how we live our lives – Wish You Were Here.  Many of us don’t live in the here and now.  We become so BUSY with life, that we forget to MAKE a life.   We keep waiting for that magical day to come so we can start “living”.  And before we know it, years have gone by.  It’s, then, that we realize how much we’ve missed out on.  We realize the loneliness, the emptiness, and the isolation we’ve lived in.  Then we say things like, “I wish I could go back and do things differently.”

So, here’s my wish for you.  Start living your life today.  Intentionally take the time to build friendships.  Get away with the girls to have fun, relax, and refresh your soul.  These are some of the things that add up to the life you’ve been longing for.  Don’t let life pass you by and, one day, find yourself receiving a postcard that says…Wish You Were Here.

“May you live all the days of your life.”
- Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver’s Travels

Just when my friend and I thought we had the weekend planned out, everything changed.  This past weekend was supposed to be more of a girl’s weekend.  Everyone in our families was going in their own direction, so we had half of Saturday and all day Sunday to do whatever we wanted.  We thought about going somewhere or just staying in and watching a movie.  But, around noon on Saturday, she started getting sick.  We waited to see if she would start feeling better, but she only felt worse.  By Saturday evening, she couldn’t get out of bed.  She needed someone to go to her house and take care of her dog for the night, so I gladly went over there.  A few hours later, she called and needed some things from the grocery store.  I was glad to pick them up for her and take them to her.  In fact, my teenage son went with me, and we ended up having a really nice talk.  That doesn’t happen very often anymore!

Her entire family was out of town for the weekend, so she was very grateful just knowing that I was there if she needed anything.  Well, that’s what friends are for!  She told me that her husband had called to check on her late Saturday afternoon.  Even though she was really sick, she remembered to talk to him about a situation that I needed some specific advice on.  We felt like he might know how to help.  It shocked me that she thought about it since she felt so bad.  Her response to me was, “Cindy, what affects you, affects me.  Of course, I remembered.”  Again, that’s what friends are for!  We have each others back.  And we’re willing to change our schedules to be there for each other when needed.

Later Saturday evening, I talked to another good friend on the phone.  We had been playing phone tag for three days.  The conversation turned to girlfriend getaways at one point, and we started reminiscing about some of our past getaways.  We talked about the time we were in a Hallmark store, laughing so hard that we were crying because we found some greeting cards that were just hilarious.  We also talked about the time we decided to give antiquing a try for the first time.  We got lost looking for an antique store.  We ended up in the middle of nowhere, and didn’t know how to get back.  I started freaking out because the houses we were passing had old washing machines and sofas stashed on the front porch, and the people sitting around on those porches looked like they might pull out a shotgun at any moment.  It was then that I started shouting at my friend, “I’m a city girl!  I need to see pavement and street lights!  Get me outta here!”  To this day, we look back on that little adventure, and still crack up.  By the way, we did finally find the antique store, but it had gone out of business.

True friendship is doing whatever is needed to be there for each other.  We support each other through good times and bad.  We accept each other, faults and all.  We encourage each other in our walk with God, in our relationships with our families, and to better ourselves.  We laugh with each other until it hurts, and we cry with each other when life gets hard.  Because…that’s what friends are for.

Have flip flops...will travel

All you’ve got to say is, “Let’s go, girls!”, and this is the kind of response we usually have…

I’m ready to go!!  I’m there – wherever “there” is.  The point is…IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER WHERE “There” IS – just so that it “IS” and we can all “BE” together.

That’s an actual response from Brenda when she started thinking about going on a girlfriend getaway.  And it’s so true!

Early one fall, a girlfriend and I went to a bed and breakfast for some really needed away time.  We chose to stay in one of the little cabins that was built behind the main house.  We stayed for four wonderful days resting and reviving, being pampered by the hosts, and spending time in nature.  We walked on trails in the woods and through open fields on the property.  We took afternoon naps in hammocks that were hung by a pond.  We slept late each morning, and had a wonderful breakfast waiting for us in the main dining room.  Those were the best cheese grits I have ever tasted!  Late each afternoon, we were treated to homemade cider and persimmon bread.  They were so yummy!  The owner even had snacks and drinks waiting for us whenever we wanted them.

The last night we were there, we decided to go to a restaurant that was built on the edge of a cliff.  There were different rooms within the restaurant that were decorated around a theme like “Gone With The Wind”.  We ordered prime rib and enjoyed a great meal.  Afterwards, we walked outside to the edge of the cliff, up to the iron fencing.  The view was beautiful.  We sat on a bench, looking at the city lights below, just recharging our souls.

Sounds nice, huh?  Sounds like it was a great girlfriend getaway, right?  Well…it was!  But there’s a little something that I’ve left out of the story.  This little detail is what makes Brenda’s response at the beginning so true!

Now, for the rest of the story…

The day before we left to go to this little bed and breakfast, a huge storm came through the area.  In fact, this huge storm was the remnant of a hurricane.  Seriously!  It knocked down trees and knocked out power.  The owners of the bed and breakfast were not able to contact us to let us know that they were without power.  So…when we arrived for our four days of rest and relaxation, we were greeted with oil lamps and very apologetic hosts.  Fortunately, the main house had a generator, and that’s how they were able to cook the meals.  To be honest, though, we were disappointed at first.  Who wants to spend four days somewhere without power?  But, the most amazing thing happened.  It forced us to slow down and spend a lot of time outside – walking on the trails and out in the fields, resting in the hammocks, and sitting in the kitchen with the owners just getting to know each other.  We couldn’t go shopping or watch TV.  We had to use oil lamps after it got dark for light and noticed how peaceful and quiet everything was with the power out.  We realized just how noisy our everyday world really is.

The power finally came on the night before we left, and we decided to go out to eat on our last night there.  It would have been fine with us if it never came back on the whole time because we felt like we had really rested and gotten away from the world.  We told the owners of the bed and breakfast that we felt like the power outage was a blessing in disguise.  It was, and we’d do it all over again not changing a thing!

Well, if I’m not the maid, then somebody needs to notify my wonderful family.  They seemed to have missed that email.  I’ve lost track of how many times, just when I’ve finished vacuuming and mopping the floors, my kids let our dog, Cowboy, in the house.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I love Cowboy…all 90 pounds of him.  He’s one of the biggest Golden Retrievers you’ll ever see, but he thinks he’s a lap dog.  He’s also the biggest baby.  He sleeps with a stuffed animal!  His best tricks are knocking things over with his tail and shedding.

It’s hard enough cleaning up after the humans in my house, but Cowboy takes it to a whole new level.  And nobody seems to have a problem with this except me.  It’s probably because I do a lot of the cleaning.  So…I banished him to the backyard.  Needless to say, that didn’t go over well.  But sometimes you’ve just got to lay down the law.

It’s not like I can snap my fingers or wiggle my nose and have the whole house clean.  It takes time – sometimes a lot of time.  Just because it’s clean today doesn’t mean it’s going to be clean tonight, much less tomorrow.  My idea of clean is not their idea of clean.  Even though everyone has their responsibilities to help around the house, I still find myself reminding them that I’m not the maid.

The Kitchen – I’ve decided that the dishes have a mind of their own.  They like to live in the sink.  It never ceases to amaze me how homework becomes top priority when the dishwasher needs unloading.  And no one ever seems to be able to remember when it’s their turn to unload it.

The Bathrooms – Have you ever wanted to hang up a sign on the bathroom door that says “Enter at your own risk”, especially when it’s your teenage son’s bathroom?

The Bedrooms – At my house, each person is responsible for cleaning their own room.  I’m told, “Mom, my room’s clean!”  But when I go in, it still looks like a bomb has gone off or it just got hit by a tornado.

The Den – The heart of the home…the gathering place for…EVERYTHING!

The Laundry – Well…it’s an endless cycle.

No wonder they think I’m the maid.  It takes a lot to keep a home going and in order.  But I am not the maid at my house!  And you are not the maid at your house!  We need to learn how to delegate so we’re not “on the clock” all the time.  We need to take time to get away from the pressures of home.  We need to keep our girlfriend connections going and in order!  It’s healthy, it’s fun, and you never know who might just come up with the next great girlfriend getaway idea!